a double of the original, all-canadian 'my bloody valentine' and 'rosemary's killer (aka the prowler)' was always gonna draw us in. if there's one thing in the world you have to love it's a terrible murder, preferably combined with a line of needless exposition or a look straight into the camera.
both of tonight's movies are based around a seemingly unnecessary dance party. the need to have these parties often outweighs the need to continue living. strange.
five things we learned from 'my bloody valentine':
1/ mines are a strong aphrodisiac. even in the face of getting a pickaxe through the gullet, you will want to have sex in any given mine.
2/ there is no alternative to 'moosehead' beer in canada. there's probably not even water.
3/ there are parts of canada where cops (at least in the early 80s) refer to grown men with jobs in the mining industry as 'kids'. this may be a cultural thing.
4/ a trail of upside down hearts will lead you to a murder victim. or at least to the washing machine next to the one she's in.
5/ witnessing a murder as a child can and will make you imitate said murderer later in life. so keep yer eyes closed.
while there were hoots aplenty and the greatest barman in film history ('ASSHOLES!') here in valentine's bluff, and an original x-cert print in which to take joy, the night really hit home with the rare 'rosemary's killer'.
it's nonsensical.
it plays out in near-real time (after the 35 year leap).
the girls are much cuter than in mbv - and the murders are longer, more laborious and infinitely more horrible. good stuff, right?
maybe.
it's professional, big budget stuff set against mbv but lacks that movie's sense of fun. though it does share it's crazed narrative inconsistencies, plot-holes bigger than the gaps in everyone's bodies after the eponymous dude does his thing with the pitchfork. the ending is pure wha? which makes it even better.
savini's effects are a thing of sickening wonder as ever - you've got to love those rolled-back all-white eyes - great detail.
the cigarette burns tee on sale was a beauty - a romantic, glitter-bombed two-header of the masked killers and a constant reminder to wearers - don't ever organise any kind of dance in the early 80s - killers with the most unlikely identities WILL interrupt your fun. with knives.
